Untangling the Darkness

Disclaimer:

I might change the title sometime in the future if I found something more fitting. I will just put it for this article for now because Rev. Chris mentioned about this when reacting to Billie Eilish’s “My Future” MV, and it seriously stuck in my head for quite some time. Well, the “darkness” I am referring to (if you are not aware already) is the Future. For those of you who internally said “ewh cringe/classic/such an emo, I love you with all fiber in my being but you are more than welcome to press the x button on the top right side of your screen 😉 jkjk read it until its done! mwa.

Another disclaimer:

This is a journal entry so please2x don’t get your hopes up on finding this article super motivational or full of inspiring story (I mean, I hope it can-but if it does I would have been an author or motivator by now, right?)

 

Entry : 14/9/2020 10:23 JST

I am in the middle of my holiday (Does it still count as holiday when you choose to take optional online classes, actively scrolling through LinkedIn and other job-hunting websites every day, and going to various consultations almost once every week? Yes, it does. Admit it already, you spend more time on You-tube, Dhina.) It is 6 days prior to my departure back to Japan, and I have been trying to be a productive as I can. I supposed to practice for my internship interview this upcoming Wednesday but oh well, I rarely get the drive to write things lingering on my head, so I think it’s better to do it before I lose it again. I plugged in my Bluetooth earbuds although I do not play any music in background, because once in a while my brother and dad would come into my room, asking my takes on their discussion over their plan to send my brother back to Malaysia. Yes everyone, international trip has never been this hard for all of us (mind that I am only 22 by this day, god forbid my future 50 years old will have the chance to say “little did I know”:”) )

Last semester I finished my Advanced Japanese Class (the skills we learnt was quite equivalent to N2 I would say) and this summer holiday I am enrolled in this one business Japanese course held by Toyo University with the support or initiatives from the Ministry of Labor (if I am not mistaken). The classes will be held for total 10 days, 2 periods of each +-90 minutes every day. First day, I was so nervous because this is legit my first time attending Japanese classes outside APU. Turned out it was not that bad at all. I could understand 90% of the content, and knowing that most of the enrollees are people from all over the world (some turned on their video during class and I could tell that apart from Japanese universities international students, majorities of them are international uni graduates, professionals from all over the world, or even middle-aged Japanese who finally wish to also compete in this one of a kind Japanese job-hunting system. Umm… idk how to feel about that. I mean, my brain kept saying that I need to be grateful for the learning opportunity (which I definitely do), but it is definitely a lie if I say that the whole experience does not make me realize the nerve-wracking reality on the other hand. We are all (generally,) competing in the same pool.

Anyway, I started this morning quite late-yes. I am that typical night owl. Or maybe I am just too lazy. Somewhere in the middle I guess-I slept at around 4.40-ish and wake up at 9 am. The reason why I could not sleep last night was because I was too excited to get my grade result. Turned out it is not bad at all. I was worried because it was our first time learning through online class, and with having INDIHOME as my provider at home……..well Indonesians, ykwim. It was a huge leap compared to previous semester. I would be mad if it does not, knowing that I was involved in barely any organizations or activities in my second quarter.

30 minutes later, I was ready in front of my laptop for job hunting consultation with people from the career office. I can legit say that it was my favorite consultation session out of all I did. The reason being was the staff was so transparent about the working style, method and her own take on Japanese working culture (so it is neither too toxically supportive nor discouraging) and she knows how to communicate with university student. She was so laidback. She used a lot of slangs and a.l.m.o.s.t curse too lol which is unordinary for people working in Japanese Educational Institutes. It made me cannot contain my smile because I have never seen any other consultant being so relatable and “young”. She is an intellectual with a huge network. Got some advice and got some of my questions got answered too. First thing for today: Checked.

 

(to be continued….)